Salon Review : Raintree Spa

I saw the Chi Enviro deal at Raintree Spa and decided to go for it. It was 3 pm and I called them to ask if I could come the same day. They said yes provided that I make it by 4 pm max. I also asked if they had an all-women environment because I am a hijabi and the treatment required me to expose hair. To this also the woman on the call confirmed that there were no men around.

I left home at quarter to 4 and should have reached by 4 had it not been for my driver who didn't know what Forum is. And I didn't know that he didn't know. (I was tending to the baby and didn't notice where we were). Finally when I realized we were quite somewhere else and it was 4.20 by the time we reached there.

Upon this the owner said that they'll not be able to do it because the treatment takes at least 1.5 hours and the salon is booked for a party at 5.30. Fair enough.

However, as I sat in the spa waiting for the driver to return I saw:

I. The party was happening right then. There were around 5 women with at least 10 kids and the music was loud. As it should be in a party.

2. There were two men who were decorating the place the entire 30 mins that I was there.

I am really glad that I didn't reach on time. If I had, the process would have begun and I would have been in a really bad space with the chemicals in my hair and the men around. I would have had to wash it right then because I can't let a man see my hair.

Also, it was my time to relax while my hair was done. I had put the baby to sleep and had brought a girl with me to watch over as the baby slept. It took an effort to  make this happen. A party crowd in a cramped space wasn't my idea of relaxing and getting the hair done. And even though my baby sleeps heavily at that time of the day, I would've been totally stressed out if I was in the middle of the treatment and the music would have been on.

Needless to say, no going back even though the deal gives great value for money.

How Hijab Came to my Family

20 years back there was no female in my paternal or maternal family who covered her head with a scarf or dupatta. Not even my grandmother who wore sleeveless blouses in her youth. I can use this fact to elaborate on how ‘liberal’ my family is as well how ‘ignorant’ it was about the particular concept of hijab in Islam.

Interesting how something can be perceived by one man as liberty and the other as ignorance. Anyway, moving on…

How it Started – Back in 1998, my closest cousin, Kiran, moved to UK for her higher studies at the age of 18. When she came back to Pakistan, the family was inquisitive about the head scarf she wore everywhere she went on top of her jeans and tops. Her mom too, after a few months, followed suit. When questioned, they explained the importance of covering up satar in the light of the Quraan and ahadith. This was in 1999, when I was 10. And this is when I, my mom and my grandmother realized how wrong it was not to cover up.

For a few years we didn’t copy them, but we did respect their hijabs. A couple of years later, my mom started going to the market with her head covered. As a pre-teen, I watched and things started seeping in.

The Pushing – Even though I was indifferent to or perhaps even liked the hijab, I never thought  of adopting it. After all I was just 12. Also I was not to be pushed into it. Once, my granny asked me to put a dupatta on my head because we were to meet a religious person. I scrunched up my nose and refused. No one tells me what to do with my clothes. Though later I had to put it on with a sullen face.

But I was never pushed into anything luckily permanently. The only requirement set by my dad was ‘modest’ clothing i.e. wearing loose clothes. So until today most of my time at home got spent wearing loose tops and jeans/pjs/pants. They are way more modest than fitted kameezes with dupattas left behind on the iron stand.

2005 – At the end of grade 10, I came to terms with the practice and decided that I would cover my head in a consistent fashion. The scariest part was speculating my mom’s reaction who did not cover up at family gatherings and weddings. But mashaAllah, when she found out, she encouraged me and stood up for me. Very soon, I saw her covering up at events too, mashaAllah. And since, then the scarf/dupatta/chadar has never left my head even inside my house in the presence of na-mehrams.

2006 – I guess, this is the year when it happened. My grandmother stopped wearing saris, something she wore all her life as a primary dressing, and switched to wearing kameezes to ensure that her belly wasn’t showing.

2010 – My only paternal uncle’s daughter, Hana, started practicing hijab too. Born and brought up in London, she could’ve gone either ways. But I think it was the sort of community in East London and my uncle’s religious nature that contributed to her choice. Alhamdulillah, her two teenaged sisters too are gradually coming to hijab and her mom followed suit too.

This is also the year when I started wearing an abaya – something no cousin or aunt of mine carries, unfortunately.

2012 – Another khala’s two daughters, now 16 and 17, seeing me and my elder cousin, Kiran, have now started doing hijab too at family events.

A summary: I have a total of 12 female cousins, 6 hijabis and 6 non-hijabis. All non hijabis but one live in the West.

Interestingly in all cases, the daughters started taking the hijab first and their mothers followed suit soon.

The criticism – No matter what you do, you can never please everyone. There are relatives who support the hijab, there are the indifferent ones and of course there are the critics too. My mom’s 65 year old aunt, who’s a Ph.D and a professor at Karachi University commented on how my hijab was extreme. And I don’t blame the lady. After six decades of her life, watching girls dress up like fire crackers at weddings, she must have naturally felt put off by my loose pistachio colored abaya. Understandable. Even for relatives who support the headscarf, abaya is something that is taking time to get swallowed.

And the criticism goes equally for the young men in the family who have adopted religious values and sported beards. (Point: my family isn’t sexist :P)

In the end, what does matter is the growing tolerance towards the very concept of women complying with the Islamic hijab. With a little acceptance of the elders, who have already lived out most of their lives, the younger generation has a long way to go in terms of changing the socio-cultural landscape.

How I came to Wear an Abaya

I have been wearing the headscarf since 2005 when I was 15. Later, around in 2007, I learned more about the Islamic dress code for women and realized that an abaya was an essential garment. But it wasn't until 2010 that I actually started wearing one. It took me three years to prepare myself for I knew wearing an abaya is no easy task. Some of the issues that I had resolve before following my religious ambitions were...

1. I Will Have to Wear it EVERYWHERE!

Once a woman dons an abaya, she endorses it in totality. Hence, whenever she steps out of her house, the abaya accompanies her. However, there are times when a woman might be tempted to take off her abaya just because of the glamor around her, such as in weddings and parties.

Bringing myself to the resolution of wearing an abaya everywhere, including weddings and parties, was a tough decision but I think it was worth the while Alhamdulillah.

 

2. Breaking the News - Anticipating Heart Attacks

My parents and relatives have significantly contributed to my life. Hence, they have expectations from me in return. Since no girl in my family is a hijabi, breaking the news to them that I will be wearing a boring black abaya to weddings was an upheaval task. I was apprehensive that they would reject my plan outright or make negative remarks.

But fortunately, my mother supported me. Even though she doesn't wear an abaya herself, she thinks that I have made the right decision. As for my father, having lived in the Middle East for around three decades, he is culturally attuned to the outfit and the only problem he has is the 'plainness' of my abayas.

 

3. Carrying it in the Professional World

I also wondered how my abaya will affect my profession. I believed that my impression before my college professors, interviewers, colleagues at my workplace would be radically altered because of my abaya. And this was yet another challenge that I had to prepare myself for.

 

4. The Heat

During summers Karachi can get really hot and that's when men loosen their ties and undo their buttons while women resort to wearing lighter fabrics. But if one is in an abaya, there isn't much choice. You can't wear a fabric as light as 'lawn', you can't take your headscarf off or do things that let air touch your skin. Although, most of the places I go to on a routine basis have airconditioning, there are times when I do feel terribly hot and I knew this would happen before donning the abaya. And it was another hurdle that I had to brace myself for.

 

5. My Personal Commitment versus My Temptations

Being a woman, I have never been too fashion forward, but I haven't been behind the times either. Like other women, I know the therapeutic effect of dressing up. Just by wearing a certain color can entirely change one's mood. And the joy of wearing new clothes to college or wearing a certain outfit that you know is going to turn heads can be an uplifting experience. Committing yourself to an abaya means saying good-bye to fashion in public. It means that you have to shift to a completely different alternative universe when it comes to dressing.

This has the potential to create a desperate desire in a hijabi woman to wear what non-hijabis do in the public, to feel joy of people praising them for their styling sense and beauty. And many actually give in to this temptation by unraveling themselves at weddings and other events they consider 'important'. This was the part that I had to mentally prepare myself for most before donning an abaya.

For a long time, I had been gathering courage and faith to execute what I had been wanting to do for so long. But it was a video I watched that finally pushed me to practice what I preached to myself.

It was an interview of Shabina Begum. Shabina is citizen of UK who sacrificed two years of her education fighting for her right to wear an abaya at school. She thought it was more important to practice her religion than anything else. MashaAllah, her family supporter her in her cause and she fought a legal battle with her school for letting her wear an abaya. Watching this video, I thought - there is a Muslimah, in a non-Muslim country, sacrificing so much just so that she can practice Islam. While here I am, with these minor challenges not doing what I should have right when I reached puberty.

Hence, finally in March 2010, at the age of 20 I started wearing an abaya to every place I went. It has been a very fulfilling journey since then alhamdulillah.