How Hijab Came to my Family

20 years back there was no female in my paternal or maternal family who covered her head with a scarf or dupatta. Not even my grandmother who wore sleeveless blouses in her youth. I can use this fact to elaborate on how ‘liberal’ my family is as well how ‘ignorant’ it was about the particular concept of hijab in Islam.

Interesting how something can be perceived by one man as liberty and the other as ignorance. Anyway, moving on…

How it Started – Back in 1998, my closest cousin, Kiran, moved to UK for her higher studies at the age of 18. When she came back to Pakistan, the family was inquisitive about the head scarf she wore everywhere she went on top of her jeans and tops. Her mom too, after a few months, followed suit. When questioned, they explained the importance of covering up satar in the light of the Quraan and ahadith. This was in 1999, when I was 10. And this is when I, my mom and my grandmother realized how wrong it was not to cover up.

For a few years we didn’t copy them, but we did respect their hijabs. A couple of years later, my mom started going to the market with her head covered. As a pre-teen, I watched and things started seeping in.

The Pushing – Even though I was indifferent to or perhaps even liked the hijab, I never thought  of adopting it. After all I was just 12. Also I was not to be pushed into it. Once, my granny asked me to put a dupatta on my head because we were to meet a religious person. I scrunched up my nose and refused. No one tells me what to do with my clothes. Though later I had to put it on with a sullen face.

But I was never pushed into anything luckily permanently. The only requirement set by my dad was ‘modest’ clothing i.e. wearing loose clothes. So until today most of my time at home got spent wearing loose tops and jeans/pjs/pants. They are way more modest than fitted kameezes with dupattas left behind on the iron stand.

2005 – At the end of grade 10, I came to terms with the practice and decided that I would cover my head in a consistent fashion. The scariest part was speculating my mom’s reaction who did not cover up at family gatherings and weddings. But mashaAllah, when she found out, she encouraged me and stood up for me. Very soon, I saw her covering up at events too, mashaAllah. And since, then the scarf/dupatta/chadar has never left my head even inside my house in the presence of na-mehrams.

2006 – I guess, this is the year when it happened. My grandmother stopped wearing saris, something she wore all her life as a primary dressing, and switched to wearing kameezes to ensure that her belly wasn’t showing.

2010 – My only paternal uncle’s daughter, Hana, started practicing hijab too. Born and brought up in London, she could’ve gone either ways. But I think it was the sort of community in East London and my uncle’s religious nature that contributed to her choice. Alhamdulillah, her two teenaged sisters too are gradually coming to hijab and her mom followed suit too.

This is also the year when I started wearing an abaya – something no cousin or aunt of mine carries, unfortunately.

2012 – Another khala’s two daughters, now 16 and 17, seeing me and my elder cousin, Kiran, have now started doing hijab too at family events.

A summary: I have a total of 12 female cousins, 6 hijabis and 6 non-hijabis. All non hijabis but one live in the West.

Interestingly in all cases, the daughters started taking the hijab first and their mothers followed suit soon.

The criticism – No matter what you do, you can never please everyone. There are relatives who support the hijab, there are the indifferent ones and of course there are the critics too. My mom’s 65 year old aunt, who’s a Ph.D and a professor at Karachi University commented on how my hijab was extreme. And I don’t blame the lady. After six decades of her life, watching girls dress up like fire crackers at weddings, she must have naturally felt put off by my loose pistachio colored abaya. Understandable. Even for relatives who support the headscarf, abaya is something that is taking time to get swallowed.

And the criticism goes equally for the young men in the family who have adopted religious values and sported beards. (Point: my family isn’t sexist :P)

In the end, what does matter is the growing tolerance towards the very concept of women complying with the Islamic hijab. With a little acceptance of the elders, who have already lived out most of their lives, the younger generation has a long way to go in terms of changing the socio-cultural landscape.

The Soft Brown Earth

Alright, my last blog post said I'd be blogging about how ''A cheesecake made my day''. But even before I could revive my memory of cheesecakes and ecstasy, I happened to produce the random-est poem I have ever come up with - in five minutes. And here it is now, chilling on my blog.

Cheers ^_^

Turn in Life - Turn in Blogging!

Okay. I have been so lazy with this blog that it is almost … lazy? :P Too lazy to even think of a synonym for lazy, hah!

I guess the lazy blogger syndrome comes from the fact that my lifestyle has taken a turn. And the things I have been blogging about such as religion, politics, life, etc. though still relevant, don’t occupy my head as much as they used to before. Thanks to things that take up most of my time these days – work, travelling and going out.

So why not blog about things that I am actually doing – a little bit of shopping, eating, going out, etc. The little delights of a very ordinary person, delights that make life good. Life in Dubai. Life of a single girl living alone in this city extraordinaire.

Next blog post: How a Cheesecake Made My Day.

Heart : A Peephole to Your Future

Ever dreamt a dream that was all about things you were going through? And the fears, joys, tension, hopes, etc. of your real life, all followed you in that dream?

Our dreams are like a mirror to our real life. They tell us what awaits us when we wake up.

Similarly, this world is a Dream too. And somehow it is a clear mirror of what awaits us when we will wake up on the Day of Judgement. So what is it exactly that indicates what awaits us on the Big day?

Our heart.

Here is what Allah has to say:

“It is He who sent down tranquility into the hearts of the believers that they would increase in faith along with their [present] faith. And to Allah belong the soldiers of the heavens and the earth, and ever is Allah Knowing and Wise.”

Surah Fath - (48:4)

The pious, the blessed ones, the ones loved by Allah are bestowed upon by golden gift of Faith. And the verse clearly says that those with Faith have hearts filled with tranquility. This tranquility further strengthens Faith.

SubhanAllah! Such are the hearts of those who will be among the successful ones on the Day of Judgement.

To get an idea of what awaits us in the future, let's ask : does my heart feel tranquil? Does it feel tranquil in sadness? Forget sadness, does it even flow with peace when I am doing the happiest of activities such as dining out, shopping or talking to a friend? Is the peace we feel even a shadow of the sort of peace that Allah bestows upon His loved ones?

The answer certainly determines what awaits us in the future.

The rest, I shall leave on the All-knowing and Wise who is also very Merciful.

5 Perils of Living On Your Own

Okay so if you are living that big city life on your own, you have all the independence you can dream of. So much independence, that it is not even all that cool any more. And on the other hand there are certain perils that you can get into given that you are such a lone soul in a big big city. May be peril is not the word but I’ll just use it any way :P

So here we go. Here are some of the things that can go wrong wrong wrong when you are t-o-t-a-l-l-y on your own.

i.                     The air conditioner has chilled the room sooo much throughout the night, that you just can’t come out of your blanket in the morning. It is like stepping out from a tub full of hot water into freezing rain somewhere in North Pole. Okay, not that extreme but you get it. And of course, there is no mommy dearest to switch the AC off for you.

In such a situation, you will either run the peril of feeling extremely uncomfortable – or of going back to sleep and missing/ getting late for work and facing horrible consequences.

ii.                   You are out of cash. Your friends are out of cash (read: you are out of friends). The only money you have is to travel to work. In such cases you might just die of hunger. Or on a less severe note, resort to shoplifting so that you can get caught and the police can feed you something in the lock up for a few days. No matter what you do, this situation is full of perils.

iii.                  You locked your room at night and tossed the keys. In the morning you can’t find them. Now you are imprisoned in the room. You can’t go to work or even get a key maker. Also your DSL is not working and phone has no money. Also you have no window in your room. Also, you have no attached bathroom. Imagine.

iv.                 You are sick. Probably have diabetes or you just got stomach flu. Too weak to move. Too weak to get essential help like a sweet or gripe water. You’ll probably just die.

v.                   You take a week off from work to relax. And then you die somehow in your house. Like a natural death, accidental or may be a murder. Well then sorry, but your body won’t be discovered until at least a week. Wait, that is not really a peril for you as a living person, but it might be for your soul. Like if your body remained unburied for a week, that would probably be perilous for your soul no?

Of Cursed Blessings and Blessed Curses

Everything in this world is the test from Allah.

Health and sickness – Friendship and enmity – Wealth and poverty – Wisdom and ignorance – Hope and despair – Prosperity and loss – And so on…

None of these things are blessings or curses on their own. As Muslims, we perceive all these elements in a very different light.  We believe that anything that brings us closer to Allah, that makes us more muttaqi, and eventually more deserving of Jannah is a blessing. And anything that kills the quality of our eemaan and actions and eventually exposes us to the wrath of Allah on the day of Qayamah, is a curse.

So blessings may come our way disguised as curses and curses as blessings.

Coming to a few examples – It is said that poverty is a curse and yet it is possible that poverty may bring a person very close to Allah and actually be a blessing. Another example would be of education. Education makes man civil and yet it also has the power to induce arrogance – one of the worst sins – in hearts.

We must note that there are some things that humans are more likely to make good and bad uses of.

Like the Prophet (SAW) said,

"There are two blessings which many people lose: (They are) Health and free time for doing good."

Hadith # 421, Book 76, Sahih Bukari.

So in spite of health and free time inherently being blessings, they turn into curses because of our lack of their use. They will be liabilities for us on the day of Qayamah.

Similarly, while wealth is perceived as one of the greatest assets for man, the Prophet (SAW) said,

“… I am afraid that worldly wealth will be given to you in abundance as it was given to those (nations) before you, and you will start competing each other for it as the previous nations competed for it, and then it will divert you (from good) as it diverted them."

Hadith # 433, Book 76, Sahih Bukhari

The challenge in this world is to realize that things that might make us feel utterly blessed, may actually be curses because of the way we make use of them – such as wealth, knowledge, power, friendship, etc. Because of how we will be answerable about them in the Final day.

And losses, sorrows, pains and calamities which might be so unwelcome might become a means of salvation simply because how close they brought us back to the True Beloved.